Let’s talk about Jurassic Bark

It’s time to face the heartbreak that Futurama put us through.

It’s been 19 years since Futurama’s writers ripped out our hearts, tore them up, and discarded them like an empty poppler box. Yes, 9th March 2003 (or 17th November 2002 if you’re reading this from the States) was the original air date of Jurassic Bark; the episode that reminded us that cartoons can make us laugh, gasp and cry all in less than half an hour. With a whopping viewer score of 9.6 on IMDb, what is it about those 23 minutes that still hurts nearly 20 years later?

Ok, so what happens?

Oh, I should’ve said – there are spoilers ahead. But you probably wouldn’t be reading this if you hadn’t already experienced the majesty of Jurassic Bark. If you actually haven’t; I beg of you, please stop reading, and go and watch it immediately. Then come back (welcome back if you just did that) and read on.

In the year 3003, our hopeless hero, Philip J. Fry, visits his 20th Century workplace, Panucci’s Pizza, which has been excavated and set up as a museum. Preserved in dolomite are the fossilised remains of his beloved dog, Seymour. As the episode progresses, we flash back to snippets of what life was like for the people – and pups – left behind during Fry’s millennium-long stint in a cryogenic freezer. In tandem, we see 30th-Century Fry become obsessed with hanging out with his rock-dog, ditching the magic show he and Bender were working on and subsequently turning Bender a robotic shade of envy-green. Professor Farnsworth comes up with a way of using Seymour’s preserved DNA to clone him, which Bender sabotages. But when Fry discovers that Seymour lived for 12 years after he disappeared, he stops the replication, realising Seymour had a full life – and probably a new best friend – after Fry left it. In a devastating final montage set to the melancholic sound of Connie Francis’ I Will Wait For You, we see a gradually ageing Seymour, sat outside the pizzeria every day from 2000 until 2012, awaiting the return of his best pal who never shows up, until he finally falls asleep for the last time.

It’s bittersweet. It’s devastating. It’s statistically the best-ever episode of Futurama.

What makes it the (almost) perfect episode?

For 22 ½ minutes, this episode is great. It’s a solid 8.5, maybe even a 9. We see some wonderful moments where Fry’s family come achingly close to discovering his fate. In so many TV shows and films, it’s easy to forget the people who get left behind. Austin Powers acknowledges this (hilariously) in its cutaway to the fallen henchman’s family, and it’s a theme that Futurama visits from time-to-time, though never with as much punch as Jurassic Bark.

It’s full of good jokes, a robo puppy which sends sparks when it licks you, a silly sub-plot involving Leela and Amy learning how to wrestle in ridiculous outfits, and Bender in a cape and top-hat, which is, for some unexplainable reason, especially pleasing.

This all makes for a strong episode, but what makes it magic is its ending. It’s incredible that, in 23 minutes, any programme can pack an emotional wallop. What’s even more remarkable here is that – even though you sense something building – Jurassic Bark manages to cave in your soul in just the final 20 seconds. I cried the first time I watched it. I still tear up now. How can 20 seconds of cartoon do that? Writer, Eric Kaplan, is a genius. That’s how.

Clever stuff and interesting factoids

The ‘loyal dog misses its owner’ plot isn’t entirely new. It’s pretty old, in fact. Odysseus had a devoted pooch, Argos (right?!), who waited for him for over 20 years. Edinburgh has a statue dedicated to Greyfriars Bobby. But it’s most likely that Jurassic Bark was inspired by the true story of Hachiko, the Japanese Akita, who waited at the same train station where he’d meet his owner each day until more than nine years after the owner’s death. It’s a suitably touching true story which clearly still hits a chord a century later.

The plot was originally intended to feature Fry’s mother instead of Seymour, but the writers concluded this would be too upsetting for audiences. It’s hard to imagine Futurama getting any more crushing than this episode, and any imagined outcomes would just be conjecture, but perhaps making the call for Fry not to carry around his dead mother’s body was a sensible one.

The name Seymour – or, to go by his full name, Seymour Asses – must be a nod to Futurama’s older brother, The Simpsons.

Frank Welker – who’s brought voice to Megatron, Scooby-Doo, Curious George, and Santa’s Little Helper to name a few – gave Seymour his vocal personality, somehow managing to give a canine rendition of Walking on Sunshine with genuine joy.

Why do we still love it?

Aside from its critical acclaim (it was nominated for an Emmy for Outstanding Animated Program), you’d have to have a heart of stone to not feel a twinge of sadness at Seymour’s demise. For anyone who’s been through the death of a beloved family pet, Jurassic Bark will probably have resurrected the feeling of helpless, inconsolable sorrow when losing someone who didn’t even realise they were your best friend. For those who just want to watch Futurama for the laughs, there are plenty of funny – if not legendary – quotes, such as “Ugh. I am one hungover cryogenecist,” and “Interesting. No wait, the other thing. Tedious.” Whatever your reaction to these 23 minutes, there’s no doubting that it’s gone down in history with most Futurama fans as its most poignant chapter.